What Else is New

Hey there blogosphere. It's been.....too long. I know a few posts back I promised to be a more wholehearted blogger. Here we are, more than a couple months later and I have nothing to show for that promise. Well, this time, it's going to be different.

     I sound just like a regular guy huh. Making promises, but failing to follow through. These are traits that I generally try to stifle but every once in awhile, I'm T, just another guy who can't live up to his promise. Well, anyways, I'm here now. A lot has happened in my few months of hiatus. It didn't even hit me that I wasn't blogging until about a few weeks ago, my friends asked me if I had posted anything new. I felt so bad realizing I hadn't, and even worse when i realized somebody somewhere reads my stuff. Well, this post is dedicated to all those that looked at my blog whilst I was away.

An Update:

In the now,
- It's summertime- (awesome, what else is new)

- I have a job, part time, but a job nonetheless. It's with the university I go to, Georgia Southern, so I stayed in Statesboro for the summer instead of going home to Atlanta (a semi-regrettable decision). *btw* I clean the dorm rooms for after the freshman have left for summer....it's terrible, just terrible.

-I got my first lead in a play for the summer theatre at Georgia Southern. Lead as in, I am one of the main characters the story is about. How awesome is that? It was shakespeare too. As You Like It. I played Orlando, the love interest, which was new....I've never really played the main love interest.

- Griot Studios. My roommate Tre, I have mentioned in an earlier post, have created a team, a production team of sorts, and have come up with a name brand. Griot Stu, aka Griot Studios. It's an idea sparked by one of my good friends Amy. She and I had big dreams freshman year of college and even wanted to start our own Theatre Company. Well she no longer goes to school here, and is now trying to make it in Atlanta, which is awesome!! Well, I have been feeling the urge to do something with my life already, you know start preparing for the future and begin to build my career in acting. One of my professors once said, "If you can't find work, make work." Basically, if you can't find a theatre to work in or can't find auditions, do your own stuff, put on your own plays, make your own films. And thus, Griot Stu. It my proactive step towards the future. More on Griot Stu in another post. In the meantime, check out the Facebook Page, like it if you will: Griot Stu

- Oh and I'm also auditioning for a talent agency in Savannah in a few weeks. More on that later too.

In the past,

-I was voted Co-President f the student organization for theatre, Theatre South, at my school (whaaaat!?!). Apparently I'm a pretty good leader.

- My friends and I formed a new crew...2 new crews actually, a breakdance crew - Bridge Breakers, and a krumping crew - Euphorian Monsters. We will be making a lot of videos this summer. Produced by Griot Stu.

Well, that's all for this post. Keeps your eyes and ears open everybody, there's a lot more coming your way.

To Feel or Not To Feel, I choose the first

My friends tell me I tend to be closed off, not open up, or keep things merely topical. In fact it's what's come to be expected of me. It's not that I try to do that, but that it's my default state of being. For that matter I know I come off as cold, or very uninterested sometimes. that's not the case. From a rather young age, I taught my self to keep emotions down. You don't need them to interact with the real world, just the basics would suffice. A smile here, a frown there, an inquisitive look for when I was confused.. I can even remember the very moment at which this became a solid decision.

 It was a car ride with my parents. They were dropping me off for my first ever summer camp. A week with  out them. I was excited to tell them something about it., and all I wanted was for them to give me their attention for just a few minutes. I tried to tell them and I can just remember them getting really angry, and telling me to shut up. Now, I already had the mentality of a shy quiet kid, but when my parents yelled at me to shut up, I just...I took it hard. This was the first and last time they would do that.

 It also seems to be a family trait which I have unintentionally mastered because I picked it up earlier. This also had the side effect of limiting my ability to pick up emotions in other. I take everybody, everything at face value. what you give me is what I understand. 

If you put all this into account, you must wonder how I got through school, or anything for that matter. Friendships, relationships, family...how did I handle it. When I look back on it, I acted. being the introverted quiet kid I was, I spent a lot of time observing people, especially in different emotional states. I learned to judge a situation and the people in it, and the act out accordingly. I suppose that's how I gained the initial skill to act. 

What's ironic now is that acting, has taught my how to "feel" again, for lack of a better way of phrasing it. Well not acting alone, my friends and several people have had this effect. What I recently learned was that, to act something with the truest of emotion, you have to feel it, actually feel it. Draw from life experience and funnel it into what you are doing. I came to the realization that there is very little I have "felt" in my life. And thus, I intend to fix it, to correct what ever it is that barricades my emotions. 

You know what, emotions are conflicting, but they are also exciting, incredible, exhilarating.  I have begun to allow myself to accept what I feel. To accept how I feel about people, and not just push it away and hope it doesn't stay long. And of course, I have begun o realize many things. Mostly, that I'm an idiot but also that this is for the better. Maybe my friends will see that now, who knows. I may just not be good at expresses emotions, but I'm working on that too.

Dream a little dream

          I'm still not exactly sure what to blog about. I mean, I don't know what to say or write about. So for now, I'm just gonna write about what is most on my mind at a given time.


          Well today, I'll like to talk about dreams. You know, the fall asleep and lose track of reality type of dream. I've always wondered if dreams had special qualities. Did they solve some sub-conscious problems, did they tell the future, were they a window into our true self, or are they just something to entertain our mind for eight hours a day when everything goes dark. Recently, I've had some weird dreams and I couldn't help but question them. Most of them were unnervingly realistic and the rest were flat out crazy, though I do think they would make a hell of plot to an action movie. As long as you didn't question it.

So about those dreams I've had, let me share with you a few. First off, after I wake up from a really bizarre or important dream, I do my best to try and remember it in detail. As most people know, it's really hard to remember a dream. We lose 50% of a dream about a minute after we wake up, and forget about 90%  ten minutes after we wake up, but I tried my best to remember.

My most recent dream, was disturbing. I mean it scared me. And not scared me like, oh my god a ghost, no. Scared me as in, I was scared of myself. The me in that dream. It was a very realistic version me me. And he was angry. So very angry. The circumstances to why he was angry were ridiculous, but the emotion I felt was very real. I wanted to destroy everything. I felt pure contempt, and I know I could have gone further. So much...further. When I woke up, it was still there. All that anger and rage. Then slowly it faded into the recesses of my mind. But I know it's there.

I've discovered that a lot of my dreams tell me about myself. It's interesting. I've been going through a physical and emotional change lately, and it's effected the way I think. That's been reflected in my other dreams. this dream I feel reflects the fact that I've been more open, emotionally lately. Letting in happiness and hints of love here and there. But it seems that cracked a door in my mind to let in, the other emotions. Ones I've had problems with. It also didn't help that I had to play some really angry characters in a few scenes lately. I've had..issues expressing anger, because I don't usually bother with it. But having to find anger so I could play it onstage has changed things. But all this is a lot for one post.

There is one thing I believe dreams do occasionally, and that is they answer questions. They most likely won't be the one plus one equals two type questions, but the are important questions about ourselves. Questions that ask who we are, what do we believe in, and what kind of person we want to be. 

Until next time then.

My First Solo Performance

         Over the course of a year, I tend to be in a lot of performances, be it Theatre or Showchoir or with my dance crew, Euphoria. And as it turns out to be, there are no records of me doing any of this. Well, here is my most recent performance, and it happens to be my first "solo" performance, dancing anyways. But this is from a variety show that the Theatre department put on at Georgia Southern. But anyways, here it is. My dance skit, entitled 'New Shoes'.




p.s. Overlook my long lanky arms. They are quite disproportionate to my body and tend to....'flail'. I'm hoping  one more growth spurt will take care of that, and I'll look normal. Enjoy!!!